Gentlemen....start your engines....

That's about how I feel now. You know, like you are in a race, about to go full speed ahead and they tell you to turn on the engines.

My Dr. is a lot like my dad. Very laid back. He doesn't make scary faces or give you scary information very often (not until he feels a reason to give it). During every pregnancy I have had, something has come up that lies outside the normal range and he has never batted an eyelash. He just matter-of-factly says it like it is. I admire that about him. He always then tells me that I will be fine, and I will deliver a healthy baby (which I might add, I always do deliver healthy babies and I don't intend to break the pattern now).

Today while looking at the baby on the sonogram screen he quietly said "She's breech", (which we knew) "Ah look at that great pocket of fluid" and "see that wonderful respiratory action?". He even said she's like a movie star with a camera on her...she knows she's being watched and performing well. I started to say "Great! See you next week". Then he started looking at other things. He didn't say much, but I could see clearly he was looking around the area of the placenta with great detail. Not much fluid around there. I really couldn't see any. He said nothing still.

After the sono he casually said "I don't think you will be able to carry to term".

Term is a funny, uh, term if you will. Term for some people is the full 40 weeks, to others it is 38 weeks, or 36. A full-term baby is considered to be any baby born after the 37th week of gestation. However, he would never take a baby at 37 weeks unless he absolutely needed to.... even though it is "full term". So I was thinking maybe I could get to 37 weeks when he said these words.

Then the bombshell:

"I would be prepared to deliver in 2-4 weeks", he said.

What???????? %&$#*@!!!!! Um.....how????? Wait...I still have painting to do. I don't have a mattress pad for the crib....or newborn jammies....the bedding...

They they strapped me up to the monitor. The nurse was told (my Dr had to run off to surgery) that if the reading was not perfect to make me stay there until he got out of surgery. I am assuming it was ok, since I am home now. But for awhile, we were concerned. Usually it takes 15 minutes. Mine was at least 45.

I am 31 weeks right now. The baby is not mature enough to breathe onhe own most likely. But, in his experience, fluid levels only go down after this, and I don't have much. We are worried about cord compression. If it ever appears to be unsafe for her in there, he will take her. It's as simple as that.

So, I am packing my bag tonight. "Prepare for the worst, and hope for the best" is the phrase I hear so often. I have seen NICU babies before with all the tubes and wires on them and the thought absolutely horrifies me. This one time, I hope my Dr is wrong.